Circles

Some self reflection, inspired and encouraged by my mother-in-law. Who says I absolutely need to blog more.

No... (thanks for asking :) ) I haven't been writing much* lately.

Because...

Life moves in circles. Not a straight line.

Or at least it does for me.

You see, I've always pushed myself to produce. I've always felt that my self-worth is tied directly to productivity, to the number of words I punch out on a keyboard every day.

But I'm starting to figure out that maybe, I'm not built that way. My creative outlets and habits circle. The needs of the people I love ebb and flow. It's taken me a long time to admit it, but for me, at this point in my life, fighting to finish that article or next book at all costs feels like fighting against the tide.

The critic in me screams that letting myself enjoy interests other than writing is an excuse; that I'm just putting off getting that next big important writing project done.

The ambitious part of me worries that by listening to the needs of others, or to my own self-care needs, I will be distracted from my dream of one day being an established middle-market author.

But, praise God, I've lived long enough to know that these things are not true. I have proven to myself that I have the patience and tenacity to complete large projects (and do them well) even when they take years. If I could give advice to my younger self, I would tell her to stop fretting so much about "making it" (I believe achieving goals is important, but it is secondary to a life well-lived).

I would tell her to listen to the rhythm of her own creativity. To not think of painting or cooking as a distraction from "real" goals, but to embrace the many pieces of her that make a complete whole.

I would tell her that it's hard to write during canning season.

:)

...

Some of my current and recent summer projects, because I am not, sadly, simply a writing machine:

Pickles, salsa, ketchup, jellies and jam!

Garden grape mint jelly. From my garden, a Christmas favourite.

Some colouring, because it's fun. :)

Crocheted granny square baby blanket. I'm going to be an auntie!

Recycled denim shag rug. To curl on in front of the fire with my little girls, come storm season. <3

*of course I am still writing! That will never go away. :)